It’s hard to believe on this second day of October in Central Ohio, I’m sitting outside in my wet swimsuit. Just moments ago, while floating on my floatie in the pool, I watched leaves fall from the trees and dance their way down to join me in the water. Now, I sit here poolside in solitude, noticing my surroundings and watching the natural change of seasons as Summer turns to Autumn. Although it is unseasonably warm, the humidity has lifted and there is a gentle breeze coaxing the leaves off their limbs. When the breeze occasionally gets stronger, the taller, skinnier trees bend and sway, and there is a beautiful shower of falling leaves making their way down to our pool and pool deck. Rather than finding this as another chore to tend to, I choose to enjoy it simply because I can.
I find myself looking up waiting if the leaf I have my eye on will be the next one to let go. Every once in a while, I see leaves above the trees as if they haven’t fallen but jumped or leaped from the branches. Falling into my own dance with my pen, my mind and heart open and sentences spill onto the paper.
I hadn’t intended to write today, but quite often, it’s what happens organically and not planned that brings me joy or leads to bigger, better things. So, I’m satisfied to write. There is a peace and joy within me today. I feel faithful, like a deeper trust in all things as they are, as they should be. Though I feel content, it feels like there’s something lurking. I don’t know what it is, but I trust the timing that when I’m meant to, I’ll meet it openly with faith. The curiosity excites me more than it scares me as whatever my tomorrows bring, I must be ready.
Just four years ago my life was much different than today. So much has changed, loss, gain, a new place, a new job, new friends, but more than all that, a new perspective on life and a renewed and stronger sense of self.
Feeling content, but also “ready” seems like such a delicate dance that requires more presence than sometimes I’m able to maintain. But it’s days like today that allow me the pause to realign, reconnect, reaffirm, and believe that everything is as it should be.
In yoga, we talk about trusting the process, and today I’m trusting God and His plan for my life. Like the trees before me shedding their splendor into my pool, I might have also shed a small layer of myself today, my need to know and to control. With the next season upon us, Autumn is coming quietly and gently, allowing us time to prepare and adjust. Perhaps what’s next for me will also allow time for me to prepare and adjust. Regardless, I choose to trust the process and meet life as it meets me.